I've had people diagnose me as all kinds of things with the same sort of excuses you use for engaging in the practice. If you had said "my mother has narcissistic traits," I'd be okay with that, but you assuming the professional knowledge to diagnose isn't ethical no matter what the excuse.

I never did have any of that shit my abusers diagnosed me with. I do have actual mental health diagnoses from actual providers, and one of my disorders is now one that people decide sounds cool and the they "diagnose themselves" as having it. It has done a world of harm as my diagnosis is already difficult and people already just roll their eyes and laugh, without a bunch of people (many with an actual clinical diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder, cosplayers, or gamers) decide it sounds cool and trendy.

Self diagnosis and armchair diagnosis is unethical because it harms actual people. Not that I really have any sympathy for abusers but narcissism is thrown around so much now "oh my ex was a narcissist," that it's not taken as seriously as it should be.

I'm passionate about it as I've been harmed both by armchair diagnosis and people wanting to have my diagnosis so self diagnosing. Having Dissociative Identity Disorder is hard enough without Borderlines saying they like that diagnosis better and they hate theirs so they want mine instead (life with DID is incredibly hard), or cosplayers using it as a new acting challenge.

It contributes greatly to the way I'm treated as a person with an actual clinical diagnosis of DID as people see the others acting and people are cruel.

I'm sorry your parents were so shitty to you. I don't understand why there have to be so many of them in the world. I also feel like throwing an armchair diagnosis at people can give them an excuse for their behavior or allow victims like ourselves to believe that since we believe they have X, they can't help the harm they did and use it to gaslight ourselves. It's so damaging.