“No One Crosses the Wolf” by Lisa Nikolidakis
Learning from one of my Graduate School Professors Years after Graduation
Release Date: 1 September, 2022
Looking over the Amazon First Reads for the month of August, I spotted a memoir with a name that I recognized. I looked closer and sure enough, it was one of my professors from my graduate program.
I had enjoyed her class, and I figured this was a good way to learn more from her. The book itself sounded fascinating, and as I began to read, I saw a story that in some ways was quite similar to my own. Similar enough to be familiar and cause visceral feelings to come to the surface.
From the beginning, the story resonated with me. I felf like I wasn’t as alone in the world. She tells a compelling story, and I found myself crying for her, sorry for everything she went through. I felt so deeply connected with the story that I prayed a rosary for her.
What I didn’t expect from the book description is that she would be able to explain some of the concepts I have trouble being able to describe to others, very well. I read not only for the story, but for the things I might be able to learn from her writing from a craft perspective.
My favorite part was her going back to the same text that helped her throughout her childhood, Britannica Junior, and weaving that into the story. Seeing how well she did that made me have more confidence with a similar idea that I had. I noticed the ways that she had put it into her story to where it was important and moved the story along. It wouldn’t be the same story without Britannica Junior.
The way she described dissociation was very accurate and well-done. She doesn’t talk about specific diagnoses but rather about dissociation itself. I am someone with Dissociative Identity Disorder and while Lisa does not have that, she is still able to put into words something that is universal to people with dissociative disorders.
It’s helpful for me to read books from authors who have struggled with some of the same issues I do. It’s said that misery loves company. I wouldn’t say it exactly that way but there is something to be said for someone else being able to put my struggles into words that I can’t.
What the book did in a way was legitimize my own trauma to me. Abuse survivors often gaslight ourselves because of the dissociation, the fact that people knew something was wrong but chose not to believe us because it didn’t serve their own interests to do so.
I was also interested in seeing what Greek mythology might mean to someone who is Greek, because mythology is something I have had to delve into in order to tell my own story. I think the mythology aspect was the only thing that truly disappointed me about this book. I would have loved to have seen that fleshed out.
It was a big enough omission that it took away some of the luster of the story, I think because I had expected it to be there and it wasn’t. The book is great as it is, though, and it’s impossible for an author to cover everything.
No One Crosses the Wolf is compelling but it’s not trauma porn. That’s not the kind of book I want to read. This woman has already sorted her trauma and come to terms with it, it’s not a journal of entries where she is still struggling through some major things. In other words, it’s well polished and has some great storytelling elements.
Lisa traveled to Greece in search of answers, in search of her family, and in so doing, she found home. This trip is the crux of her story, where she is able to resolve things enough for herself where she can live with what happened to her without always feeling crazy.
Ultimately, that’s what I liked the most. Resolution is different for each person, and the trip to Greece is how she found hers. I’m still in my own processing stage, and it’s hard work. Coming to a resolution she was able to live with meant that she could gain peace about what had happened to her.
