This is awful, and sounds standard for cults like this, because I was in them too. I had the misfortune to be born into it so I truly don't understand how adult people see them and join them. It's not meant as a criticism I guess I'm asking if you know what made you think this was a good thing? How do they hook people in that weren't born into it? It was so hard to leave as someone born and indoctinated in and I lost everything. I imagine you did also. I'm sorry for all the losses this nasty cult caused you.