This Might Seem Self-Serving But I’m Going to Publish it Anyway
A Bunch of (Hopefully) Interesting Things about Me
My list of things I like about myself was popular, probably because even up to about a month ago I would not have been able to make that list. It means I am healing and that I’m getting to a better place. So I thought I would make another list with (hopefully) interesting things you might not know about me.
Names are very important to me, I went through a good six months or more messing around with names to see which worked for me, and in the end God gave me a name and it was perfect. I want to always get someone else’s name right, both spelling and pronunciation, because it matters. It’s part of their identity, and my name is part of my identity.
I want to do things with people, but I need to be invited, even if it’s something I do with you a lot. I’m scared to assume that I’m wanted just because I’ve been the last three times. It also hurts when I’m not invited and I wonder what I did wrong.
I’m fascinated with the stigmata. I thought the idea was just ridiculous the first time I heard it, and I know that to many people it still is. I connected with it deeply because of where have been and what I have done.
I, like a lot of other severe trauma survivors, live in pain every day. The stupidest thing ever is a doctor asking me how much pain I am in on a scale of 1–10. That is a very subjective scale, my 2 is another person’s 8, and often the doctor will ask and then gaslight me about the number I threw out. I speak English quite well, let me use my words, that scale is utterly meaningless.
Getting packages in the mail is one of my favorite things, even if they are packages I know are coming, even if they are not that exciting. I’ve always loved getting friendly mail, but if I didn’t purchase it and wasn’t expecting it, it’s even more exciting. I love almost any mail that isn’t bills or junk.
I connect with Italian Christian mystic saints. I’m still trying to figure out why, which will mean a lot of reading, and a lot of just talking to them and asking.
I believe in Satan, angels, demons, ghosts, fairies, etc. This might be the one thing most people didn’t know about me. So far I don’t believe in extra-terrestrials, but I’m not going to make a definitieve statement that they don’t exist, just that I don’t think so without further evidence.
My favorite drink is water but I can only drink it cold even in winter. It makes me sick to drink it at room temperature or warmer, it also makes me sick if I drink too much of it which is really annoying in the summer.
I pray for the dead every day, it’s part of my calling. What can I say, I’m weird that way.
If I was stuck on a deserted island and could only have one thing, it would be a rosary. Yes, seriously.
I have a Master’s Degree in English but I am not fond of the classics. They are boring as fuck, people. I do make deep connections with the books I read, but I’m glad to not have to spend any more time having to evaluate literary nonsense written by perverts, or read Freud.
As a child, I was often punished with waterboarding techniques. It should be a no-brainer that you don’t use military torture techniques on your small child, but then again I don’t think they should be used to torture anyone.
I dislike art with cherubs or people with no faces because I think it is creepy as fuck. I’ve seen an awful lot of scary, even evil things in my lifetime. People depicted in art with no faces just creeps me the fuck out, and whoever thought cherubs were a great idea?
At one point in my childhood I lived on the rim of a volcano. Yes, I was scared that one day the volcano would blow and I’d be burned to death. It didn’t help that we had earthquakes, and my parents would make horrible jokes about dying in an eruption.
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