This one is hard for me because I understand trauma deeply and am sorry anyone goes through it. I’ve known several people with BPD and they mostly seemed to use it as an excuse when they were nasty to me. I was also told they can’t learn how not to be nasty it’s part of the disorder and not fixable.

I think that part is probably crap because I have two friends currently with it and they work hard like I do to heal and try not to be ugly to everyone around them. I understand being ugly sometimes because stuff is hard, but to say you can’t ever change it, or try to use it as an excuse to be an abuser like Amber Heard, it is difficult. I do try to always give the benefit of trauma to them, though. I leave if it’s too much. How much of the disorder is actually unchangeable do you know?